This summer was good, but I was pretty bored. I felt uninspired, suffocated and creatively malnourished. It felt like there was a lot of keeping appearances, maintaining social quota and just a type of quiet estrangement.
I remember being up north a couple times, being surrounded by a tremendous amount of nature and beauty but feeling so muted and kind of lonely. I suppose because I didn't feel accomplished this summer I didn't enjoy 'my down' time as much and the company was often transfused.
I don't really feel content unless I'm working or creating something and I have a good companion, friend or otherwise, that is supportive, a listener but responsive and most of all laughs a lot. Oh how I love a solid sense of humour. I didn't feel like I had that quite configured like I usually do, and this summer was a test of my patience.
WHY WAS THIS SUMMER SO NOT FUNNY?
I felt like I had pressed the mute button on my life and I was just watching things motion through.
Do not do this.
Tonight I tear apart my closet, purging lots of stuff, but mostly clothes, shoes, cosmetics and personal collateral therein. I think it's imperative to do this more frequent than we do. Wouldn't it be brilliant if we could do that with personal problems? Just sweep them up in a big bag and send them to Goodwill to be taken apart and distributed amongst society.
A girl can dream.
I'm tracking vocals this week, trying to make a decision on a song that has two good but different direction it could go in. I chose one, but I think I made the wrong choice. I have to rectify that. Changing the name from "Dreamgirl Whatever" to "Girl Who Got Away" means I have to come up with a new logo, something I'm happy and comfortable with. For now I'm keeping my eye on the prize, and am already having a much more productive fall than I did this summer.
Lots of decisions to be made, hurray for intuition otherwise I'd never decide on anything.