YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME.
I'M JUST LIKE YOU.
WE'RE JUST LIKE US!
Some of us wait for trigger people. Some of us are robots and forget that friends, family, lovers and relationships therein are not a commodity.
Trigger People.
Kapow, et cetera.
People who come into your life and set off a chain of events that will forever and ever change you. Forever.
I think there are game changers in life. People who come along and alter your course for better or worse - but I think we all have a say in that. Sometimes we miss out on people, other times we delve into something we might have been better to just have passed up.
Life is a slippery slope of ubiquitous choices that make up how we think, who we are, where we are and what we're known for.
Our perception of ourselves can be so deeply off that it may never be possible to counter balance it all. It's funny when word gets back to me, or someone straight up tells me what they think I think of myself. My response is always the same "Go on..." I know I shouldn't care but I think a healthy appetite for a perception of oneself outside of, themselves, is sometimes painful, sometimes delightful or sometimes just stating the obvious.
I was looking up a song I recorded in 2010 for a reference tonight. An internet search revealed four versions:
- a live version from my first show
- the subsequent studio version
- another live from a random show
- and then a another live version from this winter
It's funny seeing the progression through three years.
In the 2010 performance I remember being really uncomfortable on stage in that dress because it didn't fit properly and my hair was too poofy and it was my first show and my hair was still too poofy.
In the 2011 one I remember wanting to rush through my set because so many people were talking I felt 'in the way' and the computer screen to my right was viewing things people were live tweeting about me.
In the 2012 performance I remember being in the bathroom ready to burst out of the venue and run far, far away. It was also the first show I wore red lipstick at. A turning point in any artists career (sarcasm x1)
This song is my "go to" song. When I sit down with a guitar (and a capo) I'll almost immediately play this one. It just feels like home. And while the people in my life keep shifting and disappearing like a game of social Tetris, it's nice to be able to know a song of my very own, feels like home.
Official Recording
2012 2011 2010
Posts
Young'un,
ReplyDeleteOK, so I wasn't at the 2010 show. But you looked fine in the dress and I don't think your hair was TOO poofy. ;-) Being so used to the studio version, it was interesting to hear an early take.
I was at the 2011 show. You shouldn't feel as if you were in the way, just because impolite a**holes are talking through your set. (This by the way is a big pet peeve of mine.) It speaks well of you that even under less than ideal circumstances you put on a great show. I know of at least one person that I met that night, who became a fan based on that performance.
As for the 2012 show with Bret, I remember you might not have been in the best headspace around that time, but (to use a baseball metaphor) you stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park, as the true professional you are.
I'm glad "What the Hell" feels like home to you. It's one of my favourites.
Raymond.