They change you and they leave you forever.

You know those people you meet that you'll never understand and therefore never forget; they strike like lightning. They leave an unforgettable mark on you, and impression and a feeling you can't get rid of- and then they are gone. or you are gone. or the whole ground you stood on, is gone so to speak, and you can't go back.

You walk away slowly from each other on a street, walking backwards not sure what to say before one of you finally turns around and you scream in your head WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. You can't say goodbye, you can never say goodbye to these people, but you can't carry on with them like nothing ever happened. So you don't speak. Why? Because then it'd really be over. So from lightning they become ghosts and from ghosts they become a fictitious memory. And it's all weird, it's always all weird with you, with them, with us, all the time.

It happens. Whether you want to analogize it to be lightning or some other comparison of a bold quick connection it's all the same. I've seen people wounded for years by these moments, these people that changed their physical chemistry redefined how they felt about things, then got stuck when no suitable or greater replacement made itself available.

You have to work for happiness, they say. Happiness is not stagnation.

The problem remains, you don't know what to call those people, or if to acknowledge they still exist in the same world as you. Perhaps on parallel earths, universes neighbouring each other, you wave at the moon, they wave at the other side of the moon and so forth and so on. But in reality you probably walk the same streets, look up at the same sky, and wonder if you're listening to the exact same song at the exact same time. Weird stuff, that makes you just that much weirder - et cetera.

It's all messed up. You felt so at home with that lightning so quickly that you forgot what you were dealing with. There's no label for those type of people, there's no safe spot to put them in the scheme of your life. They just exist in the crevasses of your brain, and you hope that time will wash it away or that the clouds will bring it all back to you, that the lightning would come find you.

You can wait in that same place, at the same time but the same things will never happen. The universe doesn't work that way. And at some point, at some time you recognize that for all the great impact and feelings this person provoked in you, they were just lightning, and lightning doesn't last.

We can't compartmentalize our lives. I've learnt this, or tried to, over and over again.

Some people are lightning in our lives.
They strike,
They change you
The leave you forever
But chances are,
You changed them too.

 

Where I have been and other things you pick up off the ground.

Once a religious blogger, now, not so much, a couple people have been asking "Sup." followed with "Late July" and random 90's hip hop catch phrases like "Dope" "Fly" and "Da bomb"

I'll fill you in.

Last year around this time I launched a new project called Dreamgirl Whatever (throw the W up in the air when you say it and you'll probably get the full effect I was going for).  Yes it's me, but teaming up with different folk, particularly of the German kind, doing happycore music.  It's much like sadcore, dreadful lyrics, weeping stories, but with up tempo fun stuff of goodness.

So I've been focusing on that. 

Is Late July dead?

No.

Is this blog dead?
Sort of.

I love writing and riffing and throwing things off the top of my head, much like I'm doing right now. In fact I miss it very much.

But I can't seem to get around the complications that what I put 'out there' (to you, the world, the universe, and beyond) tends to implode and come at me. Misinterpretations about what I'm saying, who I'm talking about and more over what it says about me. 

"You're blog makes you seem like..." da da da da da.. something unsightly uncool un-whatever drama ridden drivel blah blah fuckity blah. (NOTE: Unwhatever isn't a word but fuckity should be). Really what people are telling me is: WE DON'T LIKE WHO YOU REALLY ARE, WE ONLY REALLY LIKED THE IDEA OF YOU SO PLEASE - DON'T RUIN THAT, THAT ONE GOOD IDEA WE HAD OF YOU, FOR ME OR FOR TIMMY.

Poor Timmy.

What's that saying is, life goes on and then you slip on a banana peel and pass away? Is that a saying yet? It should be.

Late July isn't dead, it's kind of in a gentle slumber on a summers day under the tree with butterflies dancing in the air while you eat cotton candy and funnel cake.

We'll get back to it, don't worry. I'll be Dreamgirl-ing it for awhile. As I have been, I should be...

Outside of the music stuff I keep busy with MORE MUSIC by listening to music that isn't my own. Follow me on RDIO and HypeM and you'll get a pretty good idea that I have pretty specific tastes in music and you'll likely like some of it or lick some of it.

 Don't lick your computer.

I spend a lot of time taking photos. Sometimes I'm being hired to model or act for campaigns and other artists music videos, other times, I'm just on a big adventure, bringing the cool to school - metaphorically of course (Core body temperature is stable at 97.3F)  Follow me on Instagram where I just triumphantly surpassed the 1000 follower mark and have been rocking the fisheye and macro lens.

Finally I'm on Vine (Late July), and yes people, it's true, Will Sasso the official Vine super star, follows me, and you know we're tight like that.

Lately I look like this:

Lately I listen to this: 

Lately I smell like this:

CAKE.

That should answer everything for now.
Cheerio!

Flying babies wielding weapons! What's not to celebrate? VOTE!

Love A Heart - I'm being sold

This Valentine's I am being auctioned off for charity.  Love A Heart is tonight (check out the Facebook invite here)

Where? The Hideout Toronto

When? After 8pm

Why? To raise money for the Heart & Stroke foundation

Who? Me and a bunch of other lovely ladies & gentleman

What? The highest bidder and I will go for dinner at Spirit Lounge and a also an artistic glass making class. I never thought I'd learn how to make artistic glass, but guess what, mystery date and I are totally going to do that, and hopefully not injure ourselves in the process.

So the question everyone is asking me.. how much will I be bought for?

How much will I be bought for?
	The Mini - Minimum $20 babe
	$100
	$200
	$300
	$400
	$500
	The Max - $1000 or more
pollcode.com free polls

My Last Valentine's Day

I haven't celebrated a 'proper' (albeit coupled) Valentine's in sometime. I almost did, two years ago. FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT. I posted the above post to said boy, requesting to see him but he wasn't really feeling it. But lucky for me I had made dinner plans with a now former lady friend, who spent the whole evening complaining about her recent ex boyfriend, who has now become one of my trusted and respected friend. Afterword I saw said aforementioned boy and watched a very upsetting documentary about the future of the world and global warming and went home and likely wrote a sad song about it, as one does if she is me. So that pretty much sums up my normal Valentine's day experience to in the past, 5 years now.

The holiday however does not get lost on me. I like to surprise family and friends with silly gifts, and of course indulge in the best cupcakes I can find (aka OMG Baked Goods). Oh, and take my pup to the pet store to buy a new toy or bone of his choosing and then watching him be awesome.

Someone made a comment to me that maybe I was one of those girls who felt I needed a boyfriend to be complete. I think people sometimes confuse desperation for just having something that you want, and more over someone that you want. If this has been said to you, and you aren't the type of person to hop date to date endlessly.... don't fret. IT'S OKAY to want a HAPPY HEALTHY NORMAL COMMUNICATIVE COMFORTABLE relationship with someone you trust and that doesn't make you feel like a burden. IT'S TOTALLY OKAY. And you know what, you'll totally find it. You will. I know you. Your sitting there thinking of all the awful people you've dated, who've made you feel bad, sad, empty, angry, hurt, alone and generally nauseated. Things change. They do. People evolve, more over you evolve, until you get to that point were evolution aligns you with other evolved individual and you will have a son named Darwin, and draw pictures of birds. DON'T WORRY. It will happen. Just be ready for it in the most ready of ready ways.

We are all forever work in progress. That's life. If you aren't happy enough with yourself right now, you better start to be, because tomorrow you'll be a slightly different person and the day after that and the day after that. But only every so slightly. They say people who date a lot are just people who don't love themselves, and I can see that, but I think the same goes for people who don't invest themselves emotionally at all, they don't love themselves either. Not enough group hugs as a kid or something. Either way you can only be as ready as you can ever be, for the forthcoming fortune heading your way. No one looks at a cheque for 30 million dollars and goes "I'm not ready, take it away, I'll wait to win the lottery another day" HOWEVER people do this with relationships, and that is how the phrase "the girl (guy) who got away" has come to exist in our society.

THIS. IS. NOT. CRAZY. TALK.

We're all ready for things at different points in our lives. The only time I have thought "Damn, I wish I had a boyfriend" was because some creeps said some creepo thing to me and I wished I had a boyfriend to be all manly man and go "STEP OFF," rip off his shirt like the hulk and go all Ryan Atwood on them, you know, in a metaphorical TV sitcom drama way. Except I hate confrontation so I'd rather just assume that happened then having to witness or think about it.

It's VALENTINE'S DAY, you guys! Flying babies wielding weapons! What's not to celebrate?

Galentine's Day

On Sunday I organized my first ever Galentine's Day party. 

NO. It is not a party for single girls to feel better about Valentine's Day.  It's a fictitious holiday created on the show Parks & Recreation for women of all marital denominations. Women celebrating women, and just being silly, wearing bright colors, giving each other silly gifts and just generally enjoying the great company of friends. Fellow attendee (the gal holding the heart above) Megan explains on her blog.

And now for my favorite Valentine's day song.

Enjoy lovers.

   

Some of My Favorite Instagrammers: Ladies Edition

It's no secret that I do not lurve my social media.  Here are some of my favorite people to follow on Instagram.

@Melsays

My ginger sister from another mister, is the host of BRBR, but she also has her own kick ass blog where she posts the best in new music as well as her wicked cool style and outfits gallor. (I spent an afternoon literally going through everything in Mel's closet, she's got amazing taste in accessories, shoes and clothes).  She travels a lot, interviews great bands, goes surfing, kicks it with her boy in Parkdale, and generally lives a pretty cool life.

@Aroiland

Amy is a model out of Los Angeles, California. Fashion forward, never dull, she could be on a ride at Disney or at a high fashion photoshoot throwing shade at the camera. She's always interested and there is never a dull moment in her life.

@ErinAskewed

Erin has a great eye for photography, a cute dog and I can never be sure what coast she's on. Snowboarding in Collingwood or surfing down the coast of Cali, her photos are always a breath of freshair in my feed.

@Apay00

Bouncing around from TO/NYC/VAN Anne is 'the IT guy' who leads a pretty colorful life. In TO chilling with her adorable dog, in NYC with her uber talented guy, or just anything in between. I like her feed it's colorful and always interesting.

@xCannedx

A girl and her chihuahua. An artist. Hilarity and prettiness ensue.

The Dreaded Toronto Female Blogger... and other major points to dispel

Three Major Points To Dispel About This Blog

I share what I write, because in the words of Ann Sexton "The joy that isn't shared dies young". Some people are introverts, and I am not. I love (positive) interaction and more good has come from sharing my writing than bad.

I am a musician, and I have been since I sat down and sung "Betterman" by Pearl Jam with my brother when I was 13 years old. To those that say I'm not much of a musician, I've likely put out about 5 more records than most, regardless if you think they are good, I am proud of all my music and will continue to put out music accordingly.

The photos of me are exactly that, photos of me. I don't think I'm a super model, or the next kitschy thing. I'm average looking. I have mediocre aka "mall" fashion sense. I post the photos because it's nice to be able to look back, watching how I change through the years, alongside my words and whatever is happening. It's like an open digital journal.

Social media is not my soap box to say how great I am, it's my way to connect with people that I would not know about or have the chance to without it. I've meet a tremendous amount of people through SM, and without it I can honestly say my life would be very, very different. People won't want to connect with you if you are the creepy girl lurking in the bushes.

My dog is not my blog, but he's a hell of dog. I believe in rescuing dogs and I believe treating animals well. How anyone could have a problem with that is above and beyond my realm of intellectual computing.

I live in Toronto, but love southern California all the time. It's true. I love spending time on Woodbine Beach in Toronto just as much as I do strolling down my childhood stomping ground in Del Mar or Cardiff beach. American, Canadian - the water is still blue and the sun still shines. There's nothing not to love.

---

I started this blog in April 2010 when I released my first record "Side Swept"  It was supposed to be just something I did to document the music process, writing, recording and the general trials and tribulations of being a female songstress in Canada.

Somewhere around that time, and I can't recall why, I decided that I would blog everyday for a year. And I did.

That kind of pushed it to whatever goes. I challenged myself as a writer and a lot people got to know me as the average human being I am.

To create some sort of distance between my writing and my personal life, I wrote loosely, vaguely, and in generality.  This was not just to protect my privacy in some weird way, but also to keep things open ended, as songwriters do, so other people can relate to the content.

After a year of blogging, I kept going and somewhere after the release of "Hospital Quiet" things got a little shifty.  My blog readership is around 200 views a day, which isn't much but it's usually more or less the same people, the same IP's and the same RSS feed subscribers tuning in. With a fairly vocal network, it would become apparent who was reading my blog, some people taking it personally or just taking it the wrong way. All sorts of people started to chime in and 'judge' me accordingly.  What was once fun and creative became very stressful and unpleasant.

It had started as a simple music blog and then turned into a whole slew of things. But some people's feelings got hurt. Room mates, boyfriends, friends, you name it. It became personal without much deliberate intent.  I felt I couldn't write about one thing, without offending someone else, that usually had nothing to do with the thing I was writing about it the first place. I was blogging everyday just to write, and I guess the stuff came out that made people feel insecure about where they stood with me or question my motives.

(There's a great misconception with me that I'm sneaky but I'm the worst person in the world with secrets. I'm like a mood ring, even if I'm not saying anything my body language tells everything. It's wildly annoying at times.)

After December 2011 I couldn't blog anymore. I tried to keep up and do a couple posts but I felt like a bit of a head case. More so the accusation that I wasn't a musician anymore, but just a 'writer' or *gasp* worse, the dreaded Toronto female blogger.

The dreaded Toronto female blogger is a social media myth and a bit of a joke. They are bloggers who are seen as incapable of intelligent writing skills with little inclination for career objectives outside of getting paid to write for sponsors and getting 'free stuff'.  I have met many Toronto bloggers and I can say that most of these DTFB's are girls who work hard, and learn the digital world at an expedited rate because they are so willing to put themselves out their and get response. They evolve much more than those hiding in the digital shadows scowling, DMing the world away. Woah are we.

I've kept this blog clean of paid and sponsored endorsements and I don't respond to the comment section either. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, it's just this is a personal blog, my digital space and for lack of better words 'brand'. I am tired of being scared to post on my own blog because of 'digital' bullies, or offending some one's feelings who the blog context isn't even about!

In 2012 I very much took a back seat to all things social, I was there but I wasn't really as involved with interacting and writing. I wanted to focus on my music and redirecting energy elsewhere which looking back, was a really good idea.

I put out three records last year, more of which I'll discuss later. I listened to all sorts of advice, good and bad, about what I should do with Late July and other projects.  At the end of the day how I feel is more important than how I'm perceived by other people. I don't know why that's such a hard point to hold on to, but it is, and will be rammed into my brain by the universe over and over again in so many different situations I can't compete with.

So there.

Just wanted to get that out there, for those who have been asking. I make no promises on what I'm doing next. I'm more keen to talk about things once they've been done, then rather give a prelude to something that is yet to occur.

And so forth and so on.
Etc.

Male Fashion: Doing Cardigans Good

I'm pretty quiet about it but I am *very* active on Pinterest. I find it stress relieving in a weird way and I usually end up pinning pictures of dessert and... men's fashion.

A lot of my guy friends like to ask my 'womanly' advice on looks to try (or not to try) and this weeks look is one of my favorites.

I'm crazy sick of 'guys in suits' or 'guy in vest with tie' look. For some reason it feels like "I'm trying too hard". Instead I like something more subtle, collard shirt with a tie (go thinner than thicker, but not too thin) and a buttoned up cardigan. It's a casual "intelligent" look. 

I am always a fan of showing some forearm with rolled sleeves. And the best part is you can really work a white shirt with any color that looks good on you. So there you have it sir, something new for you to try IF you already haven't.

And nothing like a good watch to complete an outfit, like so:

Then proceed rock out to the new Foals.

How To Survive Toronto Sober

I get asked this a lot and I'd like to answer this here.

I don't drink, I've never drank, and I don't know if I ever will. Lifelong unexpected sobriety is just one of those things that happened and it's worked for me.

Sure I have a little less fun but it saves me money, I remember everything, I never get a hang over, I'm always able to drive and it keeps me slimmer/healthier/whatever-er.

Some people gasp that I go out on a Saturday night to bars and venues with friends and stay sober all night while other people adventure onward. "What's the point in going!?" they say, "Shouldn't you be home working on a crossword puzzle and watching Coronation Street reruns?" (Don't knock that show it's a good one). Surprisingly, sometimes, I have a life and go out just like all the other people in my age vicinity.  But here's what I learn and what I abide by:

Drink What You Drink

I stick to ginger-ale but pick your soda or get a Shirley Temple or a daiquiri. Generally when I tell bar keepers that I'm designated driver (which I am, always) they usually don't charge me for the soda. I'm quite vigilant with my drinks as everyone should be, so if you see my drink barely touched it's likely because it went accidentally unattended and I'm too paranoid to risk it. OH. And I always request my drinks without the lime/lemon slice since stats show, those tend to be little slices of germed up citrus.

Cup Size

I hate being given a big pint class of soda. Generous sure but it's cumbersome to hold all night. Ask for short classes or cocktail glasses when ordering it'll make you feel less of a little kid in a grown up place.

My Friends Won't Drink Unless I Drink

If this is true your friends must be awful people, with low self-esteem, pending substance addictions, bad taste in movies and their brain is made of raspberry jam. Not really. But if someone can't drink around you because you're not drinking, give them a tissue cause they gots some issues. I've dealt with this in a really simple step. Tell them their sh!t be cray, and make plans with other people. Works EVERY time.

Everyone Is Drunk But You - Now What?

Around 1am I find is when 'the shift' happens. All of a sudden you're the adult in the room and everyone else has checked out. Not fun? Au contre. I love this. Perfect people watching time. Don't judge. Laugh. When people say stupid stuff to you or about you - laugh harder. And if people say mean stuff to you stare blankly at them or yell WHAT OF IT? Or interrupt and tell them that someone was looking for them and make up an awkward fake description of said person.  Recently I convinced someone I was of a completely different ethnicity and made up a country (Small island off Thailand called Tup Taya) including language and local colloquialisms. I like to have fun at the expense of others :)

Bar The Boredom

You can tap out earlier than people when the words get to slurry to understand and that dude in the corner who looks like a Swedish Japanese serial killer keeps trying to touch your hair, you can just go home. You're allowed. No one will tell you not or remember for more than 5 seconds.

Snack Attacks

On a good Saturday night I'm out anywhere from 3am to 5am, yes, sober. The catch is while your friends drinks contain sugar and calories, you're barely sipping anything and you wont have eaten since. Your metabolism slows while you're sleeping, and staying up way past normal schedule means you need to snack. While I have sunk to pack granola bars, I just grab a few fries and when I'm home have a snack before bed (or like last Saturday 3am brownies were amazing.) Keep it light like toast or a banana, and you'll feel less zombie starved in the morning.

Don't Smell Like A Bar

When I get home I make a cup of David's Tea "Cold 911".  When you're out your sinuses get stuck with smoke, the smell of dodgy bar and other gnarly downtown Toronto scents. The mint and citrus feel so good from the sinuses to your gut. I find I feel less gross in the morning after I shower if I've had a cup of this before.

And that's it. There's no high horse. This is how I how I live. It's not for most people, and it doesn't make me elitist or the opposite of that. But yea. So there's your answer sir.

Wandering Through This

My apologies this site has been down but with the help from some great friends it is live back in action again.

The good news is I will be adding some new content and yes... so whatever that is. Hope you like it.

Chuck says 'sup'.

I don't believe in resolutions.

I don't believe in resolutions.

I believe that we can't resolve anything, we just have to go through it and then we can say we resolved it. You can't make a decision without taking action, otherwise it's just fictitious communication. Historically I do my 'resolutions' in late summer/early fall and that's how that goes as far as human development for myself. So resolve all you want but it's not over until the universe says so or rather, until you take (not make) a course of action to do so.

I have always hated new years eve, it was all the quintessential IT'S OVER moment.
After having a pretty awful new years eve in 2011, I decided to go out and do whatever for 2012. I didn't want to commit to anything or make promises I just wanted to show up, laugh and watch people go crazy for a couple of hours while I sipped ginger ale and enjoyed the story lines around me.

And that's what I did.

By time I got to Queen Street West the streets were alive with laughter, fighting, cheering and crying. Such a chaotic mix (which to be honest isn't totally unusual for a Saturday in that part of town) was kind of awesome.

And as the clock hit to 12AM I stood by the TV at a party I was at to hear Auld Lyne Sang while people around me screamed and blew horns incessantly. I think it's one of the most powerful common day songs. It has such a rich history to it, not one you could ever  really read about. The words were written in 1788 and all I can think of when I hear it is people for hundreds of years singing it remembering the people they've loved and lost, family, friends, lovers et all.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone.

That's some heavy business if you ask me and a heavy song, for the heaviest moment of the heaviest time of year. Imagine how depressing it would be if we spent New Years like we did Daylights Savings time. People would go mad.

But I like to listen to it.
I wish there were more New Year songs.

Happy New Year.
I still don't believe in resolutions :)

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas

I don't know how I feel about Christmas anymore. It's changed a lot in the last three years. Last Christmas was probably the saddest Christmas I've experienced. (2 deaths in the family, catastrophic condo flood, and a whole bunch of not feeling so hot made for a very unhappy holiday season)

Things turn around.

Okay.

Maybe not over night but I have faith in the season of goodwill, friendship, love and whatever else you want to pack into the happy can (I don't know what that means).

So I wrote a Christmas record.  One track is about running away for the holidays and frolicking on a beach, as some of you lucky folk do, or as I spent Christmas a kid on the beaches of California.

The other song is waiting for someone to come home for Christmas.

Hope y'all get what you want this year.

In the mean time, tune in and tune up: